Thursday, February 25, 2010
Mokavi?
Wow it has been a long while! So lets see, what is new with me....not a lot, well a lot inside my head going on, but not much outside of that ha ha ha :). Adjusting to having a house, I LOVE it! The Loveday wedding was fabulous. It was like Lord of the Rings moment, when Leslie walked down the isle in the snow in her white fur lined cape. Amazing!
Bought our first newer car....ha ha ha it is a 2000, but that is the newest we have ever owned, it has only 83,000 miles on it. It is a minivan, and sadly I love it....hee hee hee.
I am more and more contemplating starting my business, that I have been dreaming about for forever and actually beginning to put together a business plan and put money aside to purchased equipment. CRAZY, but exciting! Having a hard time coming up with names...have a few in mind, but nothing has struck me like, "that's it!" if you know what I mean. Also really really considering homeschooling Lydiane next year. I think I will put Kai in public school for at least Kindergarten and see how it goes. I think him being with other kids and in a classroom environment will be really good for him and for me too LOL! Lydi begs me to homeschool, she tells me all the time, I have told everyone in my class all about Jesus already, so I am ready for the next thing mom...yikes! A little missionary :)
I have been so impressed with myself lately with keeping my house clean, cooking yummy dinners, and actually spending really good quality time with the kids, some days are better than others though :). I have realized that I just need to lay things down in this season of my life. A lot of the what I have had to lay down is relationships. That has been extremely hard, but through this discovering 'me' process and getting rid of so many fear issues and seeking mans approval and laying down of relationships that I have allowed to control me, it has been incredibly liberating and exciting. I have never been like this in my whole life. I am loving it. I am even doing a study on David, which this sounds terrible, but I have never done a Bible study on my own in my life. I have tried, but always got too busy. I love it so much that I look forward to it everyday. I feel so different in the sense that if I skip a day it doesn't make a difference. Something has left me and freedom has taken its place YEYEAH!! :)
I guess a lot more than I thought has been going on with me. Ha ha ha!
Bought our first newer car....ha ha ha it is a 2000, but that is the newest we have ever owned, it has only 83,000 miles on it. It is a minivan, and sadly I love it....hee hee hee.
I am more and more contemplating starting my business, that I have been dreaming about for forever and actually beginning to put together a business plan and put money aside to purchased equipment. CRAZY, but exciting! Having a hard time coming up with names...have a few in mind, but nothing has struck me like, "that's it!" if you know what I mean. Also really really considering homeschooling Lydiane next year. I think I will put Kai in public school for at least Kindergarten and see how it goes. I think him being with other kids and in a classroom environment will be really good for him and for me too LOL! Lydi begs me to homeschool, she tells me all the time, I have told everyone in my class all about Jesus already, so I am ready for the next thing mom...yikes! A little missionary :)
I have been so impressed with myself lately with keeping my house clean, cooking yummy dinners, and actually spending really good quality time with the kids, some days are better than others though :). I have realized that I just need to lay things down in this season of my life. A lot of the what I have had to lay down is relationships. That has been extremely hard, but through this discovering 'me' process and getting rid of so many fear issues and seeking mans approval and laying down of relationships that I have allowed to control me, it has been incredibly liberating and exciting. I have never been like this in my whole life. I am loving it. I am even doing a study on David, which this sounds terrible, but I have never done a Bible study on my own in my life. I have tried, but always got too busy. I love it so much that I look forward to it everyday. I feel so different in the sense that if I skip a day it doesn't make a difference. Something has left me and freedom has taken its place YEYEAH!! :)
I guess a lot more than I thought has been going on with me. Ha ha ha!
Saturday, October 10, 2009
MYTHS
So the last post I did turns out to be a complete myth. That just makes me sad that people make up stories like this when it is completely not true. I'm a little discouraged, but glad I know the truth too. Although I still completely believe that God wants us to learn to hide in Him being completely exposed and bare and allowing Him to renew us. Eagles do not renew themselves from what I have researched. Please if anyone has facts on this that are different, please let me know. I am totally curious now. Thanks Rebecca for letting me know as I did my own research as well, after the fact. Good learning experience....lovin the process :)
Thursday, October 8, 2009
What a beauty He is!
My wonderful friend Laura gave me this article today that ministered to me so much that I want to try and share with you...it was talking about eagles and how there is a point in an eagles life where is gets old and has to make a choice to renew its strength or to just wait out its time to die. It is the only animal that can actually renew its strength. As an eagle grows old it develops crustacean around its beak and its feathers start to break and fall out. If the eagle chooses to have its strength renewed it goes off to find a cave that can sustain it through the amount of time it needs to go through this process. The cave must have food and water nearby.
Once it finds this cave it begins to scratch of this crustacean off with the rock and it begins to pluck out its feathers out one by one all while sitting inside this cave hidden in 'the rock'. It does this until it is completely bare and everything is exposed. You can see every scratch and scar on its body. Three times a day the eagle goes to a waterfall and stands under the water for a long period of time. It takes 30 days for the wings to grow back and another week for oil sacks to grow under its wings and the process to end.
There are so many parallels to us and our Creator and how He wants us to hide in Him and get completely bare and uncovered and allow Him to wash over us and renew our strength and give us fresh oil. I think it looks different in each persons life too. I think I am finding out that the place where this happens to me is in a very childlike way. I find myself going to a place in my imagination with God where I can be like a child just spending time with him and talking with Him about what is going on with me. It is also a place where there are no stresses or cares of my daily life. There is freedom to be me and to be bare and exposed without any judgment or condemnation.
What a beauty you are Jesus...
Once it finds this cave it begins to scratch of this crustacean off with the rock and it begins to pluck out its feathers out one by one all while sitting inside this cave hidden in 'the rock'. It does this until it is completely bare and everything is exposed. You can see every scratch and scar on its body. Three times a day the eagle goes to a waterfall and stands under the water for a long period of time. It takes 30 days for the wings to grow back and another week for oil sacks to grow under its wings and the process to end.
There are so many parallels to us and our Creator and how He wants us to hide in Him and get completely bare and uncovered and allow Him to wash over us and renew our strength and give us fresh oil. I think it looks different in each persons life too. I think I am finding out that the place where this happens to me is in a very childlike way. I find myself going to a place in my imagination with God where I can be like a child just spending time with him and talking with Him about what is going on with me. It is also a place where there are no stresses or cares of my daily life. There is freedom to be me and to be bare and exposed without any judgment or condemnation.
What a beauty you are Jesus...
Monday, September 7, 2009
Delight!
I love reading blogs and I love writing them too, but to find the time...uh....it just isn't there. Oh well, I will spend the small amount of time I have reading about all the amazing people around me and as soon as I can just sit down and blog myself for a bit, I will :) I still am alive and busy trying to figure out the ball of confusion in my life right now, but so completely enjoying reading blogs, especially cause I don't have time to read books, what a delight it brings me!
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
One Great Weekend!
Had the best time with my husband this past weekend. The kids spent the night at my mom's house and George and I sat at home a talked about amazing things for about 2 hours. Then we got up and went out for some yummy Thai food and thought about a movie, but instead joined friends and family at a club called 'Keys on Main', where there was some piano battling going on. We stayed for about an hour and then went home and talked about our dreams for another hour or so.
Woke up Saturday with nothing to do, which was an incredibly amazing feeling. We got up and went out to the big Farmer's Market downtown. We ate food and checked out all the fabulous art, and purchased some fresh fruits and veggies to go with our gourmet lunch we decided to make at my moms house.
We held hands, laughed, and dreamed, which is something that hasn't happened in a REALLY long time. It was the best 2 days! I love you babe!
Woke up Saturday with nothing to do, which was an incredibly amazing feeling. We got up and went out to the big Farmer's Market downtown. We ate food and checked out all the fabulous art, and purchased some fresh fruits and veggies to go with our gourmet lunch we decided to make at my moms house.
We held hands, laughed, and dreamed, which is something that hasn't happened in a REALLY long time. It was the best 2 days! I love you babe!
Friday, June 26, 2009
Steps
I am loving the rain. A storm speaks so much emotion. I am moving in anger, frustration, unending tears, but then I feel lightning bolts hit every now and then that are these moments in God that are so profound to me, unlike any other time in my life. So cool and refreshing in this time.
This morning an amazing person came and spent time with me and allowed God to speak through her to me. There was warfare, tears, and joy. The most impacting word that has been spoken to me over the past couple of months was 'simplicity'. A normal word, used often, but sounded so different this morning, like God was whispering it to me.
I am so incredibly blessed by my amazing children and the amazing friends and family in my life, but it is all crap if I can't love who I am. I have nothing to give away if I can't find the value or worth inside of me. I have bottomed out and am learning who I truly am and that I DO have so much to give away because of God in me, that is where hope is and with Him I am lovely, beautiful, amazing, powerful, and worth it (just haven't gotten to that point of quite believing that yet). In the meantime I'm dealing with the grossness of my insides, the past beliefs, the pride and selfishness, and the lies I have believed.
I feel so duped by the enemy, but the worst part is I am the one who has handed it right over to him. It is hard to wonder how many things I have lost or missed because of the lies I have believed. Man does it piss me off!
So simplicity, like I said before I think I can do that...that word even gives me hope. Not exactly sure why, but that is pretty typical right now. I almost feel like I am learning to walk all over again. I so just want every moment of this process to be filled with God and nothing else. I am terrified of shoving myself into places or comfortable or habitual beliefs, but then again, I just need to not give in to that and just let God do His thing.
I don't know what else to write....except that there is this full, huge, incredible rainbow in the sky with light illuminating the mountains that is screaming the promises of God that I so absolutely needed to experience.
This morning an amazing person came and spent time with me and allowed God to speak through her to me. There was warfare, tears, and joy. The most impacting word that has been spoken to me over the past couple of months was 'simplicity'. A normal word, used often, but sounded so different this morning, like God was whispering it to me.
I am so incredibly blessed by my amazing children and the amazing friends and family in my life, but it is all crap if I can't love who I am. I have nothing to give away if I can't find the value or worth inside of me. I have bottomed out and am learning who I truly am and that I DO have so much to give away because of God in me, that is where hope is and with Him I am lovely, beautiful, amazing, powerful, and worth it (just haven't gotten to that point of quite believing that yet). In the meantime I'm dealing with the grossness of my insides, the past beliefs, the pride and selfishness, and the lies I have believed.
I feel so duped by the enemy, but the worst part is I am the one who has handed it right over to him. It is hard to wonder how many things I have lost or missed because of the lies I have believed. Man does it piss me off!
So simplicity, like I said before I think I can do that...that word even gives me hope. Not exactly sure why, but that is pretty typical right now. I almost feel like I am learning to walk all over again. I so just want every moment of this process to be filled with God and nothing else. I am terrified of shoving myself into places or comfortable or habitual beliefs, but then again, I just need to not give in to that and just let God do His thing.
I don't know what else to write....except that there is this full, huge, incredible rainbow in the sky with light illuminating the mountains that is screaming the promises of God that I so absolutely needed to experience.
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