Friday, July 18, 2014

A jumbled mess of new thoughts

I have so many different thoughts in my head right now and I am just going to write them all down and leave them here. Something that I am learning is that any marriage can get through what looks like an impossible situation, but the key is that not just one person, but both people have to be completely committed to each other no matter what, to work through it. To do whatever it takes. You are only responsible for you. For your actions, your choices, and what you put in to any relationship, you can't make any one do something or change something. This divorce has been so incredibly challenging and the reality is that even though this is the farthest thing from what my desires were, I still have desires, I still have value, I have still have worth, God still has a beautiful plan for my life, he still has a beautiful plan for my kids' life, and my ex-husbands life. Because He is just good that way. He is a pro at redemption and showing off and loving us in the darkest of times.

I had a conversation last night with some of my girlfriends about how sometimes when we begin to find ourselves as human beings and even more as one of God's kids, we start to believe in the amazingness of who we are and what we have to give and offer back to God, to those around us, and to the world. It can look, to some, like a snobby kind of confidence, but it is the complete opposite. It is that through us standing up and speaking out and being exactly who God created us to be, we bring Him the ultimate glory, because we are created by Him to do what He asks of us to do.

One of my absolute favorite quotes is this:

It is absolute truth! So no matter what you are going through, no matter how raw you feel and empty and lonely the situation is, you are beautiful, worthy, made to be exactly who you were created to be and the hard situations and bad choices and wrong paths aren't what defines you.

These thoughts are rocking my world right now and taking me to higher and deeper places. I would be lying if I said I felt great and everything was doing better and I wasn't angry with God. All of those feelings are still a part of where I am at, but I am working on getting to the truth of the matter and pushing aside all of the myths. The truth sets us free!


Anonymous said...

I have one argument; if you have two people who are completely committed to each other then how could a marriage or relationship possibly be falling apart in the first place? How can two hearts committed to one another get to a dissolving point? Isn't that ( if failing) proof that the relationship needs a mediator in the center, simply because both or maybe one heart is far from any such commitment? Two truly committed hearts stand, they may have some bumps, but no pit falls. That's why the truth is that it only takes one... For if the other falls into a pit the one who is standing can lift them out? This is of course the strength that only comes from above:-). Much love sis!!!

Jamie said...

That is what I was saying, that it works if two people are committed, not a one-sided relationship. I absolutely believe that there are seasons where one has to lift another up and out and through stuff, but I believe that if in the beginning you both decide that no matter what happens, you can get through it, because you choose to be committed, then it will work. Marriage or any relationship can't be one sided forever unless of course you want to be a doormat for life, which in my life I have chosen not to be. :)